Tenderness

I'll try to write a smidgen of what I saw today. We have recently begun attending a church within our community. This has been a great thing for us. Although it was hard leaving our old community, I feel that God has us on the right path. I have to say that every Sunday we have attended, there has been something that has struck me, impacted me. And actually, it has never necessarily been the sermon. Not to say the preaching is bad. I'm sure its great, although I do tend to miss it because I'm nursing Gabe downstairs in the nursery.

Anyway, I saw one of the most tender, beautiful moments I have ever seen today. We were worshipping and I was really being impacted by the songs sung and the lyrics. It as a powerful time in God's presence. Out of the corner of my eye, an older man walked in. He came up to the seat across the aisle from us, and sat down. He was carrying a young man. The young man's body was awkwardly bent, from what appeared to be some form of muscle atrophy. The older man sat down, and sat him on his knee.

They sat there throughout the rest of the worship portion of the service. I have no idea what could be wrong with the young man, but obviously something so severe that he is completely dependent on others. The older man would occasionally sing, but for the majority of the service he just stared at the young man with such love and wonder. He would speak to him softly and stroke his face. Kiss his cheek. Rock him from side to side. Sing to him. Honestly, it was so touching. I wish my words could more accurately describe it.

Then it began to occur to me, that this is only a tiny example of how God feels for us. I presume this was the man's son. Even if not, someone he cared for deeply. Yet, whatever his ailment may be, this man loved him. He could look beyond the crooked limbs and dependency and just love him. Wholeheartedly. And I thought that truly is the love of a parent or a caregiver. One that can look beyond the physical, the ugliness, and just love. No matter what happens, its still your child and you love them so deeply.

And then I thought of God. The story of the prodigal son. That no matter what that man's son had done, the sins he had commited, that he could still run home into his father's arms without fear of being rejected. God sees all of the ugliness in me, my crooked ways, yet he still loves me and is willing to take me on his knee, rock me, kiss my cheek - love on me. How wonderful that God can use the love of a father for his son to remind me of just how much he loves me. I shared with Rob, and he too was very touched by what he saw.

I have been feeling very frustrated lately with certain aspects of my life, mainly my time. Before Gabe was born I felt like life was pretty normal. Like I had time to do things that I enjoyed and time for me. As of late, I feel constantly pressed for time and missing my "me time." And I think what occured to me today is that at the end of it all, no one will care how many receiving blankets I sewed or how pretty my house was, or how many blog posts I wrote ;).

But truly the only thing that will be left of me is these two beautiful children. And hopefully, just hopefully, by the grace of God, I will have used this precious time I have with them to plant those small seeds. To train up God fearing, loving, world-changing children. So perhaps this is a bit of my confessional. I need to use this time with my children, and appreciate it. Not get frustrated when they infringe on "my time." It is truly "our" time, and it really is a privilege that I am able to stay at home with them.

So that's it. I should get to bed, but I really just had one of those days that God spoke to me so clearly in many ways, and wanted to share. I hope you too may be touched.