A Good Weekend...

This past weekend was precisely what I needed. Seriously, it was great. A date night with my husband (long overdue), which included Avatar in 3D and then dinner out at Hotel MacDonald. Then we went to our weekend conference, Breakforth, for a concert that same night. It was supposed to be what I thought was the Newsboys (but it turns out about a year ago their lead singer left the band, and was replaced by another well know Christian artist). It wasn't entirely horrible, but it definitely wasn't the same. Oh well, still a fun way to end a date night.

All day Saturday we were at Breakforth attending various seminars. I focused primarily on the Grace-Based Parenting seminars. Wow, it was good stuff. I now plan to read the book to get a more thorough understanding. Essentially, the authors looked at how God 'parent's' us. It is filled with love and grace and forgiveness, and they figured we should be doing the exact same thing with our own kids. That doesn't mean lack of discipline or no rules, but all of God's actions toward us are motivated by love, and so should our actions when dealing with our children. It truly was a really refreshing perspective, and one that I really needed to hear.

Tim Kimmel (the author) said that so often in the church he sees parents fall into "Fear-Based parenting." We are trying to protect our kids from all of these things like the internet, Hollywood, predators, etc, etc. He said "fear is the antithesis of Faith." So true. So he said in those things, its not wrong to put our kids in Christian school or homeschool them, but its the motivation for doing those things that he questions. He said for himself, he put all his kids through the public school system, but with a prepared heart for what they were about to encouter (things that would be contradictory or challenging to their face). He said it would be just as reckless to throw a Christian kid into public school unprepared, as to keep them at home to "protect" them from all the evils that are in public schools. Definitely a hot topic in the church these days, although I find myself thinking along the same lines as the Kimmels.

Some favorite quotes:

"You cannot keep your kids from sinning. They are sinners." (Referring to home some parents turn into 'Sin Managers' of their childern).

"Why don't I parent my kids the same way God parents me?"

"Every kid has 3 inner needs. We need to filter each and every thing we say to our children through these 3 things:
1. The need for security (Am I loved?)
2. The need for significance (Do I have purpose?)
3. The need for strength (Do I have any hope?)

"Aim your kids for true greatness. Defined: a passionate love for Jesus Christ that shows itself by an unquenchable love and concern for others."

"You can make arbitrary rules in your home, but don't moralize them." (In this example he was speaking of hair colors, piercings, and tattoos).

I had recently heard of the concept of "First-Based Obedience," but in response to that, Kimmel said, "Is that how God deals with us?" Definitely not.

In the final session of Grace-Based parenting, it was about strong-willed kids, and I thought he had some excellent things to say. Some favorite quotes:

"The biggest impediment to bringing out the best in a strong-willed child is a weak-willed parent."

"They are strong-willed because God wired them that way. They are a gift from God, not a curse."

And in a number of examples, he said, "You need to step back from it (the situation). And then apply grace to the situation." Eg. Fighting with a kid over dinner in a restaurant. What is the end goal? Them eating dinner? So then why bother arguing about what they are going to eat? Strong-willed kids need to have a say in what's going on. You still have the authority, but they can have a say in some things.

I was also able to attend "Robin's Cafe." Which is basically like an artist doing an unplugged set. Robin Mark was one of the main worship leaders of the weekend. We took over McDougall United Church downtown (the seminars were spread out all over the Shaw Conference Centre, and the surrounding area downtown), which is an incredibly beautiful old church building, and just had a really laid back time. Just him, his guitar, songs that aren't on any of his CD's, and the stories behind them. It was great. And at the end he lead us in Amazing Grace, just the voices. It was incredible!

If you haven't heard his song, Tribue to John Wesley, you must!!! (This is a youtube video). Hilarious! He's an incredible musician, funny, humble, and a lovely Irishman. I was surrounded by lovely Irish folks all weekend, including one who knew Robin Mark personally from back home in Ireland. For some silly reason I turned down an introduction. What was I thinking???

One of my favorite speakers included W. Paul Young, the author of The Shack. Although a highly contreversial book in the Christian community, I loved this book, and it really helped me look at God in a new way. In a more personal sense, which is the way it always should be. This was the first time I had heard Paul speak, and I thoroughly enjoyed a lot of what he had to say. Some favorite quotes from that session:

"Jesus didn't come to create a new religion, but to destroy religious thinking."

"God does nothing that is not motivated by love."

All in all, an excellent weekend. Thank you to my cousins who took the kids for Friday night and most of the day Saturday! And on Sunday, Rob was fairly exhausted from all the 'conferencing' so he took the kids all day and allowed me to go. Thanks Babe! So I'm feeling refreshing, inspired and encouraged!