Correction...

If any of you have ever seen The Lion King, one of my favorite scenes is with Rafiki, the creepy, yet somewhat adorable, little monkey. Its the part where Simba is asking him about his father, and Rafiki cuts him off and says..."Cooorrrection...I knew your Father." Totally hard to explain, but its in this brilliant little African accent. (OK, totally random I know, but hey, I've probably seen the movie like 100 times seeing as how it was one of Abbi's favorites this past summer).

Anyway, my correction being, that I am not the adoption reunion poster child. Not like anyone went that far with their comments to me, but I guess its not very often that very many adoptees even get to experience this, let alone someone you know experiecing this. So I just want to put it out there, I really have no idea how to navigate this course, and although its going well, I'm still having the odd trip up here and there.

A good example would be that after so many super "way to go" responses to my reunion, I felt that I got a few fairly unexcited/blasé responses. One case in point would be that of my husband. This is now water under the bridge (which is why I feel I can talk about it), but on that day he came home, and I had left all of the pictures of my birth family on the counter for him to see. He walked over, picked them up, scanned them briefly, put them down, and proceeded to snoop around the kitchen to see what was for dinner. Um, say wha? So I said, "That's my birth family. Can't you see the resemblance, especially with my Mom?" "No, not really" (while shuffling through the fridge trying to find something to eat before dinner). Sigh...

To be honest, I was totally heartbroken. Here is this huge thing in in my life...a picture of someone who looks like me. One of the things that I have wanted all of my life, and it seemed to be nothing to him. Anyway, to end a long story, there were many tears on my part (actually the only tears I had cried since the beginning of the week), quite a bit of explaining on both sides, and eventually the issue was resolved, but my bubble was officially burst. I came down from cloud nine promptly thereafter.

What did I learn from this situation? Well, I think like anything in life, we can only understand so much of what another person is feeling, and obviously we all show our feelings and emotions in different ways. Although Rob was, and is, excited for me, and interested, he's just not the type of guy to jump up and down, screaming "Hooray for you!!!" (although wouldn't that be funny?). So I misjudged his response for a lack of caring, which I found quite hurtful.

In another scenario (on the same day), I was chatting on the phone to someone, I briefly started to explain what was going on with me, I was then cut off with "Anyway, to the point of my call..." Ouch. Or so it seemed like a big ouch. But the reality is, I really had no idea what was going on in that person's life that day, and when I finally did hear about their day, their abruptness made sense.

I sent an e-mail to my sister about all of this, and she is just so plain smart. Seriously the girl is a genius. This is what she had to say...

"And so perhaps, just perhaps, this "lack of response" is because those people are avoiding the issue because they don't know how to deal with it. This is not a valid excuse to brush off the issue, but it's a reason at least and with a reason there can be understanding. I think it's a very unique and unusual situation for the vast majority of the population and it will be no small task to develop new relationships and facilitate the blending of multiple families."

Shouldn't the girl go into politics or something? Well-written, well thought out, and well, it just plain makes sense.

My second example of my adoption reunion silliness is a fairly ass-like thing on my part. My half-brother added me as a friend on facebook, so I sent him a quick message just telling him about the week I've had, that I talked to Sheri and Tara. I then asked him a bit about his life, where he lived, what kind of cooking he did, etc. I thought I left it short and simple. Or at least that's what I thought. I opened my inbox today I found this reply..."ummm...ok?"

It then hit me like a ton of bricks that he may actually have no idea what I am talking about if he hasn't talked to his Mom or sister in the last week (which is fairly likely). If I had a coffee table, I would have curled up and died underneath it right then. Thankfully I don't, so there was no dying on my part, but I'm feeling fairly silly. I think I kind of got ahead of myself there and didn't fully think that one through. So I promptly sent a message explaining who the heck I was, why I would be adding him as a friend, and why he shouldn't think I'm a total psycho and call the cops.

Oh my. So as you can see, I'm stumbling along here, trying to find my way. Overall its been a fairly good experience thus far, but I'm really learning as I go. Because really, no matter how much I read "Adoption Reunion 101" there just isn't a chapter for each and every scenario. One thing I'm questioning is how to proceed. Because really, I'm the one entering their lives, not vice versa, so obviously the ball is mainly in my court, but how hard do I push, how often, or do I even push at all?

I really do want to thank all of you who have been so positive and encouraging as I start this journey. I appreciate that those people can see how important this is to me, and celebrate this regardless of their own preconceived notions. But I'm just putting one foot in front of the other, doing the best I can. I just wanted to clear that up. I wouldn't want any one wrongly nominating me for Adoption Idol anytime soon...

:)